SORRISO...Sempre...

Nu sunt blogger, dar m-am hotarat sa devin.: Men

2009-08-14T15:24:00.000+03:00

Nu sunt blogger, dar m-am hotarat sa devin.: Men

Last time...

2009-07-13T12:22:00.000+03:00

Dear S,

I left you a roast in the oven...please set the temperature to bake at 350 for two hours. Potato salad is in the fridge. The plants in the living room are watered every Monday and Thursday morning. The cat is due for her immunizations on the 12th, and the dog is scheduled to be groomed at CuteClips on the 8th at 2:40 p.m. The garbage bill is due on the 15th, the electric on the 20th, and the mortgage on the 23rd.

Your mother has a dental appointment to get her dentures cleaned at 1:30 Friday afternoon. On your way to pick her up stop by the dry cleaners and get your clothes. Ticket number 334. Leave early as you may have to help your mother get dressed for her appointment.The car needs to be picked up from the repair shop by 5 p.m. today or they will charge you for overnight parking.

To get the washer to work you have to kick it halfway through the wash cycle. The dryer needs to have the lint tray cleaned after every use or it will not dry your jeans thoroughly.Speaking of which, I left your dirty socks and boxers on the bedroom floor where you left them, so that you will be able to easily find them tomorrow morning. Also, the toilet seat is left up for your convenience, too. You will find a sewing kit in the kitchen pantry to mend that tear in your shirt.

Windex is under the kitchen sink and the Comet is in the bathroom. We keep the vacuum cleaner in the hall closet. A list of groceries is on the fridge door, and the coupons will be found in the drawer next to the stove.

The cat eats at 6:30 a.m. and the dog at 9 a.m.. Please make sure they both have fresh water.Y

Your brother's wedding is this Saturday at the Lifted Hearts Church. Be sure to pick up a gift first and don't forget you're to be fitted for your tux tomorrow morning. Your aunt and uncle are arriving in on the 2 p.m. flight tomorrow, and are expecting to be picked up at the airport. Also, you will find clean sheets for the guest room in the linen closet. They prefer breakfast at 8 a.m. sharp!

Oh, by the way, if you haven't figured it out by now - I'm outta here!

Love.... ME ;)

Snap out of it, Ralu!

2009-07-13T12:20:00.001+03:00

When I was little all I ever wanted to do was grow up. I felt like I had all the time in the world and the only thing that was stopping me from doing whatever I wanted was age. Everybody told me that once I would be an adult, I would want that time to come back. That I would want to rewind everything up to the days when my only worry was to convince my parents to let me stay up late...Yeah, right! I used to say..I was convinced that all they wanted to do was stop me from growing up. From being like them...I thought that was selfishness, and it felt unfair. I thought being an adult was fascinating...Because they could do what they wanted, when they wanted and especially...they could stay up late!

Today I look back and there's a sad smile on my lips...because now I know what they wanted to say and I hate that the child I used to be was so eager to grow up...for being so naive and for being so focused on that dream to grow up that I didn't realize what a precious thing I had back then: time.....

So short but so flighty....and it governs everything, doesn't forgive and forget anyone...it slips between your fingers when you need it and passes by so slowly when you want it to just go away...

But...This is just our view on it..because time actually passes by at the same rithm, everytime....It all depends on us. When I'm happy I wish I could stop the time and make that moment last an eternity.

But for me, most of the time, time goes by in "slow motion"...Because difficult moments are far more numerous..And when you're hurt, moments seem like days and days seem like years. And when your soul hurts, it feels like being trapped inside a time-bubble that repeats over and over again and you're doomed to suffer with no hope of ever escaping. It's like in those movies where the hero is hurt and everyting runs in slow motion to raise your adrenaline...you don't know how long that moment lasts, if the hero will survive or not, and if there's any hope for a happy end...And frankly, my dear....I don't give a damn...

So what can you do? Just lay down on the bathroom floor in your prom dress with the mascara running down your cheeks and ..wish you could just disappear or turn invisile forever...

But it seems that time always knows better...it's not for nothing that it has a certain age, right? Because in the end time will hold your hands and help you stand up. It will wipe your tears and take you out of that bloody prom dress and put you into your pijamas, it will tuck you in and kiss your forehead good night. And what a good night that will be when you will finally realise that in the end, we all need some extra time: to play, to laugh and cry, to be hurt and learn from it, to make choices and make mistakes, to fight for what we believe in and eventually, care for things that don't care for us. Because that's what makes us human. In one word - to live.

So, this is a toast, for us, ladies, for the bastards who had us, the men who have us and the lucky bastards who will meet us! Cheers!

If i weren't my past...who would I be..?

2009-07-13T12:18:00.001+03:00

Trying to change my past is pointless. But understanding why it still has an enormous influence on my life — positive and negative — isn’t.

Trying to resist, change the result, or avoid it kept me foolishly focused on it.... Yet I was reluctant to leave it behind, reluctant to transform the pervasive hold it had on my present-time life. Not doing so, however, resulted in an endless living of a “now” that was littered with the detritus of the past. There’s no better arena to watch this play out than in my relationships....

I have to admit it was a stupid behaviour, but as much as I wanted to move on, I couldn't help but wonderring "what if...", what if we'd have another chance...? I can't blame me, but every reasonable person could see it was a hopeless act.

Whoever lied to you once, will lie to you again. Sooner or later.

Whoever made you cry once, will make you cry again. Sooner or later.

And whoever broke your heart once, will do it again. Probably LATER than sooner...which would only make it worse...

So..forget...and let go....

Because if someone from your past isn't in your present, it has a reason for not being there.

it's time to make a change

let's trace the problem to its source

no more riding the waves

on a river that's run its course

I stood at the door to a new beginning

two choices before me and I was afraid

leave the past behind

the long road lies ahead

bury your pride and say goodbye

leave the past behind

tied to a fading memory

of something lost in time

afraid to make the change

scared to leave the past behind

I stood at the door to a new beginning

the future called and frightened I turned away

leave the past behind

the long road lies ahead

close your eyes, forget the fear

leave the past behind

we stand at the door to a new beginning

two choices before us don't be afraid

let go...

"When memories are bigger than your dreams, the future lies in the grave"

June 12 -> Matters of the Heart...

2009-06-12T00:27:00.001+03:00

Mereu alegem gresit cand alegem cu inima....

Moving on is simple, what you leave behind that makes it difficult...
But a true friend is someone who sees the pain in your eyes,
while everyone else
believes the smile on your face...

June 03 -> Rainy days...tell me where is the love...

2009-06-03T21:32:00.004+03:00

"And if everything else perished and you remained, I should still continue to be; but if all else remained and you were eliminated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger.." Haven't heard these words in a while...and I used to...
But caring for those who don't care for you (or at least - don't care for you as you'd like them too), that's what makes us human....On the other side..there's no point wasting your time with someone who doesn't want to waste theirs with you...damn...but figuring out love never goes out of style...
Doesn't matter I'm surrounded by 10000000 people everyday - friends, colleagues , whatever...I still feel all alone..and I just can't figure out why...! I swear I can't...
Everybody says you've had your tears already and that I should move on, but is that really what I want? It's just hard meaning nothing to someone who means everything to you....and it hurts like hell...
The longing for destiny to finally bring us some sun into our lives is nowhere stronger than in our relationships. Nowhere else do we hope for a happy ending, isn't it so? And though I know my thoughts and hopes may not be answered, though there may be no end to the dismal circle of distrust, can you blame me for hoping?
I heard this song today on the university halls on one of the plasma TVs...I had to pretend my phone rang and run out as I had tears in my eyes...

"In a way u can call me a fool
I was praying to find love from you
Tell me where is the love
Or I believed in a lie
Tell me what do you feel
When you look in my eyes
I'm singing the same sad song
That reminds me of you
Oh, I would give you my love
If you'd ask me to.."

May 03 -> "Charming, image obsessed and we like money"

2009-05-03T20:23:00.003+03:00

Speranze che sperai,
Sorrisi e pianti miei.
Promesse di allegria
e sogni in cui volai...
Ed il primo spietato Amor mio
siete per me.
Perduti e persi mai
Di voi mi appassionai.
Su di voi giurai
E mi ci tormentai.
Pare niente ma...il cuore era il mio...poi c'eri tu...
Vento soffierà,
la pioggia pioverà,
la nebbia velerà,
il sole picchierà.
Ed il ricordo...
il ricordo di te...
Non passa mai...
Ma che buoni
quei baci fra noi...
Forse tu,
non vuoi smettere mai.
Per vederti mi bastano
gli occhi lucidi.
Se ti piace e se
ancora tu vuoi nel ricordo,
anche senza di noi
tutto torna possibile,
Qui nel cuore mio......
I ricordi non passano mai
eccoli qui.
Molto più forti di me..

April 12 -> Vicky Cristina Barcelona...NOT

2009-04-18T16:58:00.002+03:00

On April 3 it was the premiere of Woody Allen's movie, Vicky Cristina Barcelona...Basically..it's all about changing the "when three is too much" in "when three is perfect".
I might be old fashioned but I'm not the one to talk about this kind of open relationships... You are now reading the opinions of the most idealistic and romantic person I know: ME.
It is true, though, that life has some surprises for us all and many times we end up in odd situations and doing crazy things all in the name of love, friendship or passion. I believe there are certain things we can ignore when we love but from this to accepting a third person in the "couple" I think it's a loooong way. I'm not that cool and outgoing.... :-) And that's because I love intensely and, as I like to call it - naively cute.... :-) Just like the soap operas I hate - I get butterflies in my stomach when he smiles and I have the feeling I could do anything but I suffer foolishly for any insignifiat gesture (like a delayed answer at my sms...:)) )
Call me possessive, exaggerating, romantic, idealistic etc ...but I couldn't stand to see him smile in the same way to another woman or making love to her. Selfishly, I want my lover just for me.
So obviously, Vicky Cristina Barcelona is definitely not for me.

April 11 -> What is enough, is enough...

2009-04-12T00:50:00.012+03:00

"Too many freaks, not enough circuses..."

this is the quote of the day...now what the hell is wrong with everybody? Daaaaamn!

Seriously now...

Wouldn't you get disappointed when your so-called friends aren't there "when the going gets tough" even though you are always there for them during tough times?? I'm number one on speed dial for some when they need a hand but if I'm in a bad spot, shoot!.....I'm on my own....

I should have stopped getting disappointed a while ago...them not showing up at my birthday party last year should have been a sign..but noooo...I found them excuses...and now it hit me...it was just so obvious, but, hey, better later than never!

Seems I saw friendship were there was none...and it hurts like hell...

April 08 -> You know he doesn't love you back when...

2009-04-08T23:57:00.007+03:00

...your heart has been ripped out, and ignored, and yet you still can't let go...

...you mean nothing to him but he means everything to you...

...you do things for him but he never seems to notice...

...you try to find new ways to hate him. Because then at least it wouldn't hurt so much...
...everything is out of your control...

...he feeds you a pack of lies...

...he makes you cry...

...you realize that you can never, ever have him...again...
...you have finally hit the lowest low. And no one can bring you up, and the one who could, will never be there...
...you sit and write something like this crying to yourself, and wondering why you are so pathetic...
...you can't sleep at night because when you close your eyes, he's standing there to remind you that you are alone...
...you feel all these feelings, but are too afraid to tell them, because you're scared he might not care. And the truth is he probably won't...
...he has told you that he doesn't love you. And you would do anything to say those same words...and mean it...

I hope. At least that's what I've been told to do...

April 03 -> pieces of me...

2009-04-03T23:31:00.008+03:00

April 01 -> ...

2009-04-01T23:02:00.002+03:00

"The belief in a supernatural source of evil is not necessary. Men alone are quite capable of every wickedness."

Joseph Conrad

March 08 -> part 2

2009-03-09T00:18:00.003+02:00

Women's day...mother's day, who cares? Basically it's men's day because they get to make all the fuss about bringing flowers, buying us chocolate and other guilty pleasures...It's the second March 8 that I spend by myself (along with the second February 14th, December 31st..etc..) I think I was freaked out by the idea of being single in the city but I realised this can only mean "fabulous" time just for me: spa, beauty place, hairstylist visits, with no one to stress me and keep track of my schedule minute by minute. There is another view of this situation after all! I think I was to concentrated on finding my way out of this situation that I missed the bright side of it all...who says us women need a man to have a good time? As long as I have shopping and my friends, I am officially content.

So cheers again! For us! ;)

Today I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself.

And if you find someone to love the you you love, well.... that's just fabulous.

March 08 -> If I were a boy..

2009-03-09T00:07:00.003+02:00

If I were a boy even just for a day / I'd roll out of bed in the morning / And throw on what I wanted / And go drink beer with the guys / And chase after girls / I'd kick it with who I wanted / And I'd never get confronted for it / 'Cause they stick up for me

If I were a boy / I think I could understand / How it feels to love a girl / I swear I'd be a better man / I'd listen to her / 'Cause I know how it hurts / When you lose the one you wanted / 'Cause he's taking you for granted / And everything you had got destroyed

If I were a boy / I would turn off my phone / Tell everyone it's broken / So they'd think that I was sleeping alone /I'd put myself first / And make the rules as I go / 'Cause I know that she'd be faithful / Waiting for me to come home, to come home

It's a little too late for you to come back / Say it's just a mistake / Think I'd forgive you like that /If you thought I would wait for you / You thought wrong

But you're just a boy

You don't understand / And you don't understand / How it feels to love a girl / Someday you wish you were a better man / You don't listen to her / You don't care how it hurts / Until you lose the one you wanted / 'Cause you're taking her for granted / And everything you had got destroyed

But you're just a boy...

March 03 -> Step by step to an impossible dream

2009-03-04T00:48:00.003+02:00

Step by step to an impossible dream...Starting tomorrow...

February 28 -> Madness...

2009-02-28T14:35:00.003+02:00

About Me...Because it's your fault...

You love me? Of course, I’m irreplaceable
You respect me? Me too
You gossip about me? I don’t give a damn
You regret meeting me? I don’t care
I’m bold? If you’re not…?!
I’m stubborn? You don’t even know…
Unsatisfied? Always...
Did I insult you? You deserved it!
Did you say what you wanted? Very well, you will listen to what you don’t want to hear also
To please you? I won’t ever change
Did I say I love you? I meant it.
Mean? With who deserves it
Honest? Always, no matter how rough the truth is.
My common sense? Depends on yours…
Jealous? If you give me the reasons…
Devoted? Yes, I cherish my friends
Beautiful? Yes, so you can all die of envy..
In love? Every day, life is short…
Copied? Everytime.
Childish? Yes, because I want to.
Original? Always.
You wanna be my friend? Prove me you deserve it.
Imposing? Yes, because I know what I want. And what I don't.
Indifferent? Yes, sometimes I’m not interested
I hate you? You gave me the reasons
An advice? Stop trying to control my life. You're wasting your time.

February 28 -> Fear, Hope...or..both?

2009-02-28T00:21:00.009+02:00

" Hope is a good breakfast, but a bad supper."

Francis Bacon

Perhaps the greatest challenge that we face in life is the attempt to overtake fear.

Winston Churchill once wrote, "Courage is rightly considered the foremost of the virtues, for upon it, all others depend." Fear is, and has always been, the greatest enemy of mankind.

When Franklin D. Roosevelt said, "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself", what he meant was that the emotion of fear is, rather than the reality of what we fear, what causes us anxiety, stress, and unhappiness. When you develop self-confidence, a new universe of possibilities opens up for you. Imagine what would you dare to dream if you weren't afraid of anything in the whole world?

Fears, hopes and dreams are connected. You can't have a dream without hoping it will come true, as you can't hope if you don't have anything to hope for. And in this long process, fears are the obstacles.

The one who dreams and tries to make his dreams come true can move the mountains and nothing and no one can stand in his way. But sometimes in our quest there can be obstacles, we can face great challenges and we might feel that our world is collapsing. That's when we need hope most – to help us win the race with life. And that's why hope is more important than fear. The greatest challenge of life is to have dreams and hopes: because the greatest achievements of all times are the result of a dream. As a forest grows from a seed, hopes and dreams are the foundation of future.

Our fears tend to stop us from making our dreams come true, holding us back. We hesitate; we make excuses and find reasons not to move ahead. And finally, we feel frustrated, and give up...we lose our strength to carry on, until we look inside our hearts and find hope – because sometimes this is the only connection that we have to the success.

Have you ever felt like there's no escape from a situation you're in, like there's no hope at all, like fear covers you? And have you suddenly seen the ray of light at the end of the darkness? I know I have – and even if that hope became nothing but dust, I haven't lost my faith.

I need to make an important point: All intelligent people are afraid of something. The courageous person is not a person who is never afraid. As Mark Twain said, "Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear." I consider these words true and applicable in every situation. It is not whether or not you are afraid. We are all afraid. The question is - how do you deal with fear? The courageous person is simply the one who never gives up in spite of the fear – the one who always keeps hoping. And here's something else I've learned: when you confront your fears, they tend to fade, allowing your self-esteem and self-confidence to increase. On the other hand, when you avoid what you fear your fears grow until they begin to control every aspect of your life and then they control you. And as your fears increase, your self-esteem, your self-confidence and your self-respect diminish accordingly.

The first and perhaps most important kind of courage is the courage to begin, to launch, to step out in faith and hope; this is the courage to try something new or different, to move out of your comfort zone, with no guarantee of success.

To fear is natural, it is part of our life, symbolizing that there are new, sometimes extraordinary things to come and to face: Fear is nothing out of the ordinary.

It goes without saying that to feel and fear is to live. And not all fears are negative by nature. To be afraid is cowardice. But to fear is to have a true grasp for what one feels. Knowing that people today can go through life ignoring fear is a frightful concept.

The key of successfully winning the eternal race with fears in a responsible and valuable manner is to have hope. Hope is what makes our life go on.

Setting goals for us is fine, but it is impossible to reach them without hope. Many people believe that hope is what creates disappointment; that is a sad belief to have. For hope provides us with the ability to imagine the success, to know what challenges lie ahead and it provides the strength needed to stay focused on our journey to reach our goals.

Hope provides us with trust and anticipation. It gives us optimism, in a world where we feel sometimes that we cannot go on. Sometimes all that we have believed in is just dust in the wind as we can lose everything in a heartbeat.

Hope does not create disappointment, but expectation does. For when we expect we ignorantly narrow our focus. Expectation is what creates disappointment by causing each expectant to feel pessimistic with failure, impatient with new fears and challenges, and immature and uneducated when their narrow goal goes awry. Hope brings our focus on goal achieving into a broader view allowing one to see new fears and challenges and helping one to prepare.

To be born is to live. To live is to fear. To fear is to be challenged. To accept one's fears is to be mature and be challenged. To face one's fears and accept the challenges is boldness. And to hope for the best is to be focused, bold, mature, challenged, and alive.

It is said we should always hope for the best and prepare for the worse. Notice, however, that the saying does not say to hope for the best or prepare for the worse. For with responsible living comes failure. Not necessarily complete failure, but certainly failures. Does failure mean giving up? No. If one was to walk down an unfamiliar sidewalk and trip and fall due to a large crack, should one never walk down the same sidewalk? For with failure come wisdom, knowledge and experience. And as many great men have said in the past, knowledge is power. Now one knows of the crack in the sidewalk and can be better prepared to face it when one walks down the same sidewalk. Preparation, therefore, is a necessity for living.

As each human is born, each human has a new task: To live. To live in the right, one must find out who he is by nature. This is the process by which one accepts new wisdom and knowledge. By exploring and taking advantage of the resources this planet has to offer one becomes stronger, leaving his fears behind and emphasizing his hopes.

With age comes experience and with experience comes knowledge and understanding. In time, our fears tend to diminish, letting our hopes shine. No individual is ever completed without hope. For the wisest of all men has death to face. And with death imminent for all, one will still have to face fear until the very end of his existence. Therefore it is incredibly irresponsible to merely accept death as the imminent future, settle into a comfort zone free of challenge, and to merely exist. Could a better definition of waste be drawn? Facing life with arms crossed and expectation as a rule, is, without question, a waste. Living life is all about striving forward. So why not do what we can? Live. Accept. Face. Strive. Truly live. HOPE….

I guess I am holding on to my faith that at the end of all things, hope will be the only one to survive. Sören Kirkegaard (1813 – 1855) has, in my opinion, offered the best interpretation of fear. It is difficult to place his thoughts into a specific philosophical school, as his ideas are both a critic to Hegel's thoughts, and a philosophy of existence. His characters question life itself. His conclusion, based on concepts (Concept of Irony – 1841, Concept of Fear – 1843), emphasizes the human fears in front of existence and the Concrete. Fear and desperation are the origins of Nietzsche's philosophy, but it is the fear of inexistence, not fear of the surrounding world as in Kirkegaard's philosophy.

But what is fear? This poses a never-ending question by most philosophers, and I suspect that we may never come to any conclusion. Let me first start by saying that one's own mind keeps them from being free. Sometimes anterior situations can make us believe that something bad can and will happen. But somehow we go on. Perhaps we have invested hope in knowing that nothing will happen.

They key to happiness and to a worth-living life is hope…That's why hope is more important than fear.

And remember: hope is a good thing…. And good things never die…

February 27 -> Moments...

2009-02-28T00:01:00.007+02:00

Right..so I wake up in the morning, tired, sleepy and with no guts to do anything.. it feels so cold...I try to smile but then I remember I am alone.... At times like these I miss the Starbucks morning coffee I got so used to during the last year - a good Mocca Frappuccino with coconut flakes and coconut and chocolate syrup... ;) it was that perfect start for a new day I might add ;))

Then I miss lunch breaks at the mall...I hate to eat alone and now I have no choice. The 6-persons table I have in my lounge at my house is too big for one...

And I look back ... I long for the past, for the joys and tears I gave away. But all I hear now is the memory whispering "Once upon a time it was...."
Could we see when and where we are to meet again, we would be more tender when we bid our loved ones goodbye...

The little girl can't stop crying. She wants to turn back time...2 years ago...She lost him, and then she thought she found a new beginning. She thought it could be so much better than what she thought it was the best. But the girl found herself in the middle of an illusion, a fake. So here she goes again, putting everything aside, taking a deep breath and starting all over again. A new country, a new begginning. Maybe that's what she needs, away from everything. New faces come around, but the little girl is still torn between two worlds..she can't sleep, can't concentrate, and every morning brings up just a new tear... No Starbucks coffee in the morning..just a tear and then she's off into the city. And she forgets. Until she comes home. Then she remembers. She remembers his eyes, his hugs and good night kisses. But they are just a memory...

February 26 -> What the hell...?? =))

2009-02-27T17:26:00.014+02:00

If I start telling you what happened to me today, you'll say it's from a movie with idiots....

...here I go...

8.30 a.m. - I had classes from 9:10 a.m...but of course, I was not able to wake up at 7 a.m. as planned so I managed to get out of bed at around 8...and of course..I was late - it was a course called Managerial Accounting - sounds interesting and THANK GOD we don't have to learn by heart...(seems there still is hope in this world!!) haha..yeah ok, we have to read the chapters before the course, but I'd rather do that than transform myself into iRobot! and recite theory like a poem...I'm starting to like this subject already! ;-)) hehe

Right...but that's not the bad part of my morning...Being late, I managed to steal my dad's car keys and convince him that it is better for him to go by taxi if he had to go anywhere (...) So I go to the garrage, half-asleep and I see that an idiot parked his vehicle (that's too much for it...it's more like a steering wheel with 4 wheels... =)) ) in front of it..........It was the same idiot who seems to have a sadistic pleasure in pissing me off and who parks his ...car..... there, every single god damn day - I tried everything from deflating his wheels, to sticking a post-it on his window saying "learn to park,you idiot! :-D" , to raising his windscreen wipers...but ...no use....So I kicked one of the car's wheels and the alarm went off, and the idiot appeared very jolly at his window , so I kindly asked him to....move his ass down there and park his car someplace else! AGAIN :-D yay!

9 a.m. - I arrived at uni, but in the fuss that was there I had absolutely NO CHANCE of finding a decent parking spot (when you drive a tank, you need to find a HUGE parking spot......Q7 is not quite the definition of small..........) Eventually I left my car in the parking spot at the Mall. I usually go there for lunch every day after courses so it was just fine. Guess what happens?! I finish classes at 11 today and I go take my car. The idiot from this morning had parked his car NEXT to mine. UN-BE-LIE-VA-BLE.... can I ever get rid of him? PLEASE? I am even offering to buy a one-way ticket to NOWHERE!!...But...as everything has its own time..so does PAYBACK TIME... (I'm evil, I know...!! :=D hehe ) I wanted to deflate all his 4 wheels but I figured one was enough...for now.... =))

3 p.m. - I arrived at the gym...but of course, my usual parking spot was occupied...I found a different one, with little fuss and went to practise. I finished my training like 1.30 hours later and went to my car to drive home. Charming. Someone found it really amusing to park literally next to me.. So I had no chance of driving away. There was a car in front of me, one behind, and one exactly parallel with me (Shouldn't I call him/her an idiot?) :-?? dunno....probably, but I've finished my evil resources ....so now it's just sarcasm on the menu... :-))) lol...........what could I do then? Get on the sidewalk and then "escape" to the road...just amazing......

It's only 6 p.m. now ...wonder what can still happen next! It's not over yet...I think I'll go to bed early today... :-D

Cheers and ciao!

February 25 -> Habits

2009-02-27T17:07:00.005+02:00

I've learned a lot since I came back to Romania. But the most important is that there's no point wasting time with someone who's not willing to waste his with me. But figuring out life, never goes out of style, and I've just started....

And...speaking of figuring out stuff....One of my "dilemmas" is quitting smoking...If you're lucky, this happens one time in life. I'm not one of those lucky persons..Tried once already and you can still find "smokies" in my handbag.

I couldn't get it why people stop smoking and then eventually, they start again. Where was the logic? I didn't get it until it happened to me..told ya: you don't learn where the door is until you hit your head to the wall....

I didn't miss smoking but..daaaaamn...I sure wanted to smoke....it was something like: "I don't miss Italy, but I'd go there if I could".

So I start with the philosophy...(dangerous teritory...): and I said I could smoke one cigarette tonight and pretend nothing happened. And then there was no danger the next day in the morning...one or two cigarettes at the morning cappucino ...then I said Oh well...no probs, I can quit anytime...And then I just didn't say anything and took things as they are: I'm a smoker, just like all the smokers who don't have to respond for this action to anyone. There you go...I'm a smoker.

February 10 -> 25 things..even if

2009-02-10T11:50:00.004+02:00

If you are a member of the 150-million-strong Facebook nation, you have probably learned some fascinating — or, let's face it, some not-so-fascinating — facts about your friends as part of the latest fad, the pass-it-forward viral game "25 Random Things About Me."

Like a mutating chain letter, though more artful and less threatening, 25 Things arrives as a Facebook note from a friend. That friend posts 25 facts about himself and "tags" 25 people and asks them to do the same thing.

So...here's my list! ;-)

1. I do not believe there is only one "soul mate" for each of us.
2. I am afraid of spiders and bugs - well maybe not afraid but disgusted (Natalie, you know this too well right? :-D )
3. I am horribly addicted to ice cream :-))) I've tried to quit in the past, but when work pressure/stress increases, so does my ice-cream intake =))
4. I like hip hop music
5. As a kid, I wanted to be a professional pilot, but things don't always go as planned!
6. I play the piano, guitar and violin (after lots and lots of years of torture.....)
7. I'm a black belt in karate
8. I cannot live without my music (iPod, mp3 player, PC, Youtube, you name it - I need to hear music). I sleep on music, learn on music...
9. I'm a harry Potter fan (Natalie, please don't hate me ok? :-D )
10. I used to hate pink but now after my Erasmus I bought a p!nk suit (Thank you Lesley!)
11. I can't function without my gym card
12. I'd love to finish a book I started writing ages ago, but never had the time to finish. So..until then, I'll just stick to my blog :-P
13. I skipped last year of kindergarten. For years after, when kids all seemed to know something that I didn’t, I assumed that it was something they learned in last year of kindergarten.
14. I'm a NFS (Need for Speed, PC Game) fan - fact which reflects in real life too.... right C.J. ?? :-D
15. I became addicted to caffeine while I was in Italy, drinking Cappuccio and Marrochino..and..and ..etc :D
16. I'm addicted to everything that relates to fashion, but I try not to make a big fuss of it but sometimes I don't succeed!
17. I'm a daydreamer :P (at times)
18. I keep a journal (for all those things that can't go on my blog! ;)) :-P )
19. I'm disgusted by shrimps (right, Natalie? :-D)
20. I can't swim *YET
21. I'm a computer addict (html, CSS, MySQL, Photoshop, CorelDraw...you name it)
22. I ~~like~~ LOVE Italian Food I really do, Gino!! :-D
23. I can't function without my mobile phone
24. I spent about 15 minutes trying to find something to write here but I lost my inspiration so it seems!
25. I'm an old-fashioned girl...don't believe in emails. I prefer calling and hangin' up! Cheers! :D

February 09 -> Valentine crap... :-(

2009-02-09T23:54:00.003+02:00

:( charming...i hate valentine's day...please kill me until this friday:-(

February 08 -> :X ? :-j :-< PIU' MALE CHE MAI..

2009-02-09T01:12:00.001+02:00

We fall so we can learn to pick ourselves up...

"For those who love... time is eternity..." Henry Van Dyke

:-( and I though I meant something...guess I needed this wake up call... :-(

Sometimes you hit your head to the wall and then you learn where the door is. Careful not to stumble on the doormat if you try to look back...Better not...SO THAT'S WHY..I'm going to celebrate the fact that I'm moving on. Full stop. ;-)

well...if there's nothing I can do about it, I should simply just NOT BOTHER...
...if there's nothing I can do about it, I should simply just NOT BOTHER... ...if there's nothing I can do about it, I should simply just NOT BOTHER... ...if there's nothing I can do about it, I should simply just NOT BOTHER... ...if there's nothing I can do about it, I should simply just NOT BOTHER... ...if there's nothing I can do about it, I should simply just NOT BOTHER... ...if there's nothing I can do about it, I should simply just NOT BOTHER... ...if there's nothing I can do about it, I should simply just NOT BOTHER... ...if there's nothing I can do about it, I should simply just NOT BOTHER...

wtf..do I even believe this?

February 04 -> ...

2009-02-04T22:43:00.000+02:00

Bastard...

February 02 -> I'll be missing you...

2009-02-02T12:17:00.001+02:00

It's 4 years today...And I miss her...Loads...

And it's true ...you never know what you have until it's gone and you can't see her there anymore... :-(

All those moments we spent together with tears and with joy I will treasure forever as the greatest memory from my gran...

Tribute to my gran..

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” - Reinhold Niebuhr…I have found the perfect words to heal my heart and somehow help me to get over my grandma’s death. What was missing from my life was the serenity to accept destiny and get on with my life, but it took a long time to realize that.

It’s a cold and windy Saturday and I’m walking down the streets, wandering in the snow, wondering why God took grandma away about a year ago…time will probably heal the wound in my heart but it will leave a scar and an empty place, which will never disappear. I never realized how much I loved her until she was gone and I could not bring her back…

My grandmother had a wonderful sense of humor, knowing how to make my heart laugh, showing me that the world can be other than gray, even when it seemed that I was covered in unsolvable problems and I could see no other colors around me but the colors of sadness.

Grandma Mary hated new appliances like the microwave or the remote controlled television and she never missed a chance to make a joke on them…She often needed help operating these things, and she used to let me explain all the technical details. I do not know for sure how many she “didn’t know”…maybe she was just trying to make me feel important and heard…. I never saw my grandma bored when I was around and I really appreciated that she listened to all my childish ideas, making me feel important and completely understood. When she was around, I was a princess and she never forgot to tell me that…I was her princess…hers only…I was a princess, yes, but she was a queen, whose crown was made of the love of those who knew and cherished her.

My grandma was a really special person and this is not only my opinion…she was that kind of person that everybody loves: she was calm, loving and kind-hearted. In 16 years I have never heard her shouting or arguing – I wish I could be like her: always calm, always happy. I remember her warm laughter and smiling eyes and the homemade cookies on the table every time I visited her. It had become a tradition to visit grandma every Saturday and since she passed away I feel every Saturday is useless, as I can’t seem to be able to do anything in the evenings.

We had a favorite song my grandma and me. We were sitting in my room one-day and there was a song on the radio and grandma simply said: “It is your favorite song, isn’t it?” I burst into tears as we hadn’t listened to the song for ages, and it wasn’t even a song my grandma would hear every day – but she remembered, even though it was only once I had mentioned it to her…but she remembered. I cannot listen to that song any more, at least not now; it brings back my greatest memories, but they are now the saddest.

Saying goodbye was the most difficult thing to do…”Goodbye’s the saddest word I’ll ever hear/Goodbye’s the last time that I will hold you near […] And it hurts that something so strong someday’ll be gone/Must say goodbye/But the love you gave will always live/You’ll always be there every time I fall/You take my weakness and you make me strong/And I will always love you til forever comes […] Til we meet again, until then goodbye…”. This was our favorite song: Celine Dion’s Goodbye’s …the song is about a mother’s love, but my grandma loved me so much and she deserves this song…

Friends might say I was lucky to have her for 16 years, but I think it is never enough, as you think the people you love will never leave you – and when that happens you feel the world makes no sense anymore. I think my grandma is an angel now: she’s an angel in heaven as she was an angel on Earth. I am sure that from up there she’s watching me, as I know she will never actually die, because as long as a person is not forgotten she will live forever in our hearts and memories. And I will never forget Grandma Mary. She made the world a better place and she made my life brighter.

My grandma did everything for me – she was my favorite person in the entire world and I was her favorite niece…I know that from my grandma herself.

I remember her picking me up from kindergarten, then us both walking back home through the park. Thank you, grandma for all the wonderful moments, for all the chips and cookies you cooked for me when I was a hungry, hungry soul…

She remained independent up until the day she was hospitalized for the last time. She was set in her ways and I think that was one of her finest qualities, but I regret not being able to persuade her to see a doctor before it was too late. She died of a heart disease…I used to say that her heart couldn’t resist to so all the love she had and so it gave up – too soon I might add… but I’ve got my own second guardian angel now… I feel she’s guiding my steps through life, and even though I can’t see her anymore she’s with me on every important moment of my life.

What also made me love my grandma even more was that she was always there for me when I needed guidance and advice: I never in my life regretted following my granny’s advice, never in my life it seemed wrong, as I trusted her completely.

I have met many people in my life: some who I liked a lot, some who I did not; some who stayed in my life for a longer time, some who have come and gone. But I have never met someone whom to love spending hours with…except my grandma Mary. I couldn’t wait for the holidays to come: I knew my parents would let me spend them with my grandma… I needed no children my age, I needed no trips to overseas…it was just my grandma and me…now it’s just me and the 3 months-long summer holiday this year seemed eternal.

My only regret is that I haven’t told her how much I loved her every time I saw her. But I have a feeling she knows that because sometimes words are not necessary to express your love…

I loved my gran, not for what she had, because she didn't have much, but for her pure and unconditional love. She gave me a lot more than material things; she gave me her undying love. I will be forever grateful and thankful that she was my “gran”…

But there is one promise I made that I never had the chance to fulfill. And that will forever be my regret.....

“Til we meet again, until then, goodbye…”

January 29 -> Always thought I deserve more ;)

2009-01-29T16:57:00.002+02:00

Valentine's Day is fast approaching, and having just recently been ejected out of the love seat, I am properly dreading February the 14th. In an attempt to overcome the heartbreak, I've decided that the princess will go to the ball (club, that is) and that Valentine breaks aren't just for couples quaffing champagne...

Trying to keep a stiff upper lip in the face of adversity, I am going to damn well treat myself like the princess I am on this romantic day of the year.

Who said that Valentine breaks have to happen between two people in love anyway?

Mda...şi acum să revin şi eu la realitate...mintea mi-a luat-o deja razna şi nu cred că ghiveciul ăsta de cuvinte (pentru că asta e) mă va ajuta cu ceva...Niciodată nu mă ajută dar eu mă încăpăţânez şi mă încăpăţânez să scriu. De ce? Nu ştiu...dacă tot nu ma ajută aş putea măcar să mă opresc. Dar e vorba de el.... L-am revăzut din nou acum ceva vreme....N-ar fi trebuit. Însă sunt doar un copil naiv, un copil care mai crede în poveşti cu zâne şi prinţi care te scapă de zmei. De ce? Nici asta nu ştiu, însa aşa sunt eu....Mă uitam ca la un om necunoscut, omul din poze de care imi era dor nu mai exista...I-am spus că s-a schimbat. Probabil l-a schimbat ea...asta nu i-am mai spus...nu m-a crezut oricum - a spus că eu m-am schimbat. E posibil. Acum sunt bruneta...altă schimbare eu nu vad la mine...poate faptul că acum zâmbesc mai rar. Credeam că l-am uitat. Mă mai gandesc încă la el...când plouă, când sunt tristă, şi când zâmbesc, când văd un trandafir sau când fumez o ţigară amară...sau când îl sun după un pahar de vodka sau gin, mă mai gândesc la el când dorm şi visez, când mă trezesc...adică tot timpul..

January 20 -> So what?

2009-01-20T19:46:00.000+02:00

You probably learn more about the importance of friendship when you fail miserably in your personal life, don't you think? I've learnt how much help friends can offer you, even unintentionally, through a smile or a joke said in the grayest moments. Since I came back home I spent more time on the telephone with them than we talked during the last 4 months - see the astronomic phone bill...! I told them about my small victories and great failures (yeah it kinda works that way - victories are never great and failures are never small.....). I could do that with them because they do the same with me.

My best friend asked me today if I think it's worth loving as I seem to have something against every couple I see on the street...yes, I admit, I am jealous. I am jealous of their kisses, laughter, but mostly - I am jealous of their hugs...Who wouldn't be? After so many break ups we just don't bother saying 'hello' for the fear of having to say 'goodbye'...I answered my friend...with some retain...that I do believe in love. I did have relationships that ended in some cases "spectacularly", leaving behind much pain and sufference. But no matter how short love was and no matter how painful the ending, I look back with a smile. For the experience. Because at that time, it was exactly what I wanted. I stopped here, as, just like everyone, I have the right to silence and to decide how much of myself I wanted to show to the other....

These said and done, here's a song that fits my emotional state right now. And I ask - SO WHAT?

The smurf starts a new life today!

January 19 -> Broken strings

2009-01-19T20:18:00.000+02:00

"To love someone who loves you not

is a curse on one begot"

To love and lost might be better than never to have loved. You think? I'd agree if I may add: "might be better if he loved you too" That could be. Maybe. Otherwise, better not to love and never trust a kiss. Love is a risky business. Whatever led to falling in love I don't know: probably a fairy tale told by an idiot. This feeling is just not hearts and flowers...Not always I mean...in the end, I've realised that love is esentially a raging torrent rushing inexorably towards...nothing...it's very messy, troublesome, dangerous and consuming. And we are never prepared for it. Either ecstasy or agony. Men...they sure are something...You know people talk about the "human race"...well - it's not human race: men are different species - there's female race and male race. With a 10 years difference between them!

January 18 -> Where did I go wrong...?

2009-01-19T18:42:00.003+02:00

Remembrall -> August 20, 2008...that was a nice day =))

All right I thought...I shouldn't panic...All I needed was to try to organize everything and stay calm, then decide what I need to pack with me. Oh..and then fit all that in my suitcase. How hard could it be? I was about to find out it was BLOODY DIFFICULT..........

I sit one step behind my bed where everything is a big pile of mess, and close my eyes, hoping that if I wish it bad enough, it would miraculously jump in my suitcases all by itself...- like in those magazines that teach you how to pack your suitcases: you know...go on holiday with one piece of clothing then charmingly transform it into six different outfits (which I always thought it was just blaberring - fine, that one piece may cost a decent amount of money, but the rest of the clothes they add cost a fortune! And we are not to notice, now, are we?)

Oh crap....opened my eyes and the chaos is still there...actually it seemed even more messy, as if while with eyes closed, all my clothes jumped out of the drawers and landed on my bed. Anywhere I looked there were huge piles of ...well...stuff...shoes, boots, shirts, magazines...(COSMO is irreplaceable...)

Well..I needed to make a list...Here's the result...:

Jeans:2 pairs: blue ones, and well...blue again..Ok..done...

T-shirts: no wait...3 pairs of jeans...I need more...Ok now: T-shirts:Damn it...I forgot those new jeans I bought! Gotta pack those too...Ok, now I'm done...Back to T-shirts: let's see...the white one, gray one, ...black, CK black..pink, red, green...aaaah...THIS IS STUPID...How am I to know what I will want to wear in the next two weeks?! EVERY DAY?!?

This is no use...which calls for the hard way: throw the bloody things in the suitcases and....pray it closes.......Ten minutes later.....It doesn't close...BLOODY GOD DAMN SUITCASES!!

Yeah..that was kind of the beginning of that day, and I couldn't have said, even if I suspected, that I was packing suitcases for my greatest disappointment...Even so, looking back now, I can't tell where I did wrong. I probably did, somehow, but I wish I knew...It's surprising how a small part of life can be taken up by meaningful moments. Most of them they are over before they start although they cast a light on the future and make the person who originated them unforgettable. He shined such a light on my past...

I keep thinking what was on my mind that day...10 days before leaving. I arranged to meet some friends the day before, for a drink at the mall...yeah, that was our sanctuary during the school year...

Now, 4 months after, here I am, hoping that most of everything is still the same. But not really..who could have imagined that the Starbucks staff changes so rapidly? There isn't at least one person here that I find familiar, which makes this event even more odd for me. I arranged to meet a friend here today for a drink and to catch up, have a chat about everything. We just have to pick up from where we left..well.. I left...the friendship, that is.

I asked for my dear Vanilla Cappuccino, almost missing my morning Italian marrochino. Almost.... :-) The cappuccio was almost too hot but it felt incredibly good drinking it on this much too blue day...Normally, a day like this wouldn't make me very happy, and in the state that I am now, it would normally depress me. A little. It is the kind of day when even the most optimistic guy would prefer to spend it at home, crawled under the blanket with a hot chocolate in his hands....But luckily, Starbucks is full of people, and there was a warm, bright light inside so I just dived in one of the green armchairs and enjoyed my cappuccino. And it felt like home. I am home.

Tried t obe confortable but the questions from my friend wouldn't let me rest...I thought that somehow, Italy has a fascination of its own to everyone, but for some reason all that mattered for my friend was my disaster relationship from Italy. Trying to change the subject (tried to do that more subtle but some people just don't get it.) I politely asked " can we change the god damn subject?! Please? Grazie mille..." So we did change the subject...

When started my 'confessions' about the fasion country, my friend was all ears..I said that, while I was there, I realised that what I knew about fashion and designers was just a small part of what "Italian" stands for. Especially in Milan. When I arrived there, I had no idea that every scandal magazine, all the public elite-models, actors, producers, everyone you can imagin have developedquite an obsession for the ones that wake up every morning to go to work in busy Milan. I had never seen in my entire life, so many women with the hair so blond and shiny. And little had I known that those hairstyles cost about $10.000 annually to maintain! Bloody hell...(Thank you Paolo http://www.pagineutili.it/schedaAzienda.php?opec=692084&rag_soc=TESTA+MATTA+-+FERRARIO+P.++&id=&p=a for turning on the light on that) For those of you who don't know Paolo, he was my stylist while I was struggling to become as Italian as I could be! Also, thanks to Paolo, who told me that every stylist could easily tell which of his colleague created the hairstyle, I got to think that everyone could recognise Paolo's "signature" in my hairstyle...Nice! Oh yes...and I had to turn the discussion to men too...I have to tell you about the Italian men. Basically, they are hot. Their bodies show an entire life spent in the gym. And I am not complaining. They were eye-candy...! Small, innocent pleasures to brighten my day every morning before classes. Oh and there were shoes and bags everywhere, that were practically screaming Prada! Armani! Versace! everywhere.......!!! Paolo told me that sometimes these products met their creators, in plain day, on the street - meetings that are definitely sentimental ...you know...Miuccia or Giorgio or Donatella could admire their purses or shoes again. Cute.

So we chatted for a little while and my friend said that it's good it had a happy ending after all...That is when I remembered there are no happy endings. It's all about the fight...Life's unfair and sometimes tragic. Sometimes friends disappoint us. And we disappoint them at some point. So definitely, life is unfair. But it all comes down to experience. During the last 2 years I learned to hide how I really felt from most of the ones around me, and most important, I learned to smile for the public, no matter how like crap I felt. And that to me, is a victory. Not a happy ending.

January 16 -> Half life...

2009-01-19T18:42:00.001+02:00

...How funny is this......exactly one year ago, on Janyary 23rd I wrote a broke up letter to whom I thought would be the greatest disappointment to me, my biggest mistake....now, instead of putting my heart out, I am just performing an easy copy-paste from my blog...January 23 2008 to January 2009... Wonder what 2010 will bring? Better not...

Dear M, <<<see, the name changed...but the rest, is the same crap as last year..

I left you a roast in the oven...please set the temperature to bake at 350 for two hours. Potato salad is in the fridge. The plants in the living room are watered every Monday and Thursday morning. The cat is due for her immunizations on the 12th, and the dog is scheduled to be groomed at CuteClips on the 8th at 2:40 p.m. The garbage bill is due on the 15th, the electric on the 20th, and the mortgage on the 23rd.

Your mother has a dental appointment to get her dentures cleaned at 1:30 Friday afternoon. On your way to pick her up stop by the dry cleaners and get your clothes. Ticket number 334. Leave early as you may have to help your mother get dressed for her appointment.The car needs to be picked up from the repair shop by 5 p.m. today or they will charge you for overnight parking.

To get the washer to work you have to kick it halfway through the wash cycle. The dryer needs to have the lint tray cleaned after every use or it will not dry your jeans thoroughly.Speaking of which, I left your dirty socks and boxers on the bedroom floor where you left them, so that you will be able to easily find them tomorrow morning. Also, the toilet seat is left up for your convenience, too. You will find a sewing kit in the kitchen pantry to mend that tear in your shirt.

Windex is under the kitchen sink and the Comet is in the bathroom. We keep the vacuum cleaner in the hall closet. A list of groceries is on the fridge door, and the coupons will be found in the drawer next to the stove.

The cat eats at 6:30 a.m. and the dog at 9 a.m.. Please make sure they both have fresh water.

Your brother's wedding is this Saturday at the Lifted Hearts Church. Be sure to pick up a gift first and don't forget you're to be fitted for your tux tomorrow morning. Your aunt and uncle are arriving in on the 2 p.m. flight tomorrow, and are expecting to be picked up at the airport. Also, you will find clean sheets for the guest room in the linen closet. They prefer breakfast at 8 a.m. sharp!

Oh, by the way, if you haven't figured it out by now - I'm outta here!

Love.... ME ;)

Well..................

This calls for a new life ....It seems that there IS sunshine after rain after all :-) there are some projects coming up that seem to be more than nice so the smurf starts a new life today ;)

January 14 -> That's who I am

2009-01-19T18:41:00.003+02:00

Never did wonder what would have happened if I hadn't left...I got so many memories now, but I missed out on so many things. Have some money now from the scholarship, but they don't seem to bring any joy - how ironic is this: studied economics, but never studied happiness...But there's no point in regretting things I did as that can be tempered by time. It is the regret for the things that I didnot do that is inconsolable at times...

You can say you're in love because your heart tells you so.

You feel happiness and smile because your heart tells you so.

But when your hurt and disappointed you cry. Why? ...Because your heart tells you so..And it's just another heartbeat. For joy...and for pain...

And what am I to do now? Close my eyes and walk through Hell with pride. Forget the pride...tonight I want to cry...Want to close my eyes and crawl into bed with my pillow and cry until I have no tears left. Then cry again until I sleep....Wake up tomorrow and start a new life. No tears, no sadness, no disappointments. Just me

January 03 -> Dreamer

2009-01-19T18:41:00.001+02:00

Life in Romania has never been bleaker, and the constant entreaties from friends to just get out and get on with life, fall on deaf ears. I have come back to where I was 4 months ago, when I left so I could leave everything behind. I needed a change, to get away from so many heatrtbreaking memories.

It got me where I left from. I thought the world would stop while I was away. But it didn't. But so little has changed. Exactly what I wish ..hadn't...

My house was the same. Finding my way between the people that have come to greet me, standing around with drinks in hand, sharing their stories of me, I walk straight to my room. I have to see for myself. In movies, the bedroom is always unchanged. And so is mine. And then I knew: if I belong anywhere, if I have a home anywhere in the world, this is where it is....

Polyvore. Addiction :-)

2009-01-02T19:04:00.001+02:00

Find me on Polyvore

The Beginning Of The End

2008-12-17T14:07:00.000+02:00

I found this song a couple of days ago...Why can't this song be "He changed my life...

Did someone sign me up for love?

I didn't want it

But now I can't live without it

He changed my life

He cleaned me up

He found my heart

Like only a man can

He pulls me up

When he knows I'm sad

He's kinda perfect

He's kinda everything I'm not

Yes, he's an angel

It's amazing how he's patient

Even more at times I'm not

He's my conscience

But who decided I'd be his?

I want to hate them

Cause now I can't live without him

8 days and counting...the beginning of the end..

2008-12-15T15:22:00.000+02:00

It's the beginning of the end....4 months ago I was a shy...well not shy, but scared girl who came to Italy to live her life here for a while. I came by myself..me , myself and my shadow. But it was enough. I needed space...that's why I came here. I needed to be away from all the memories. And it did me good. But I can run, but I can't hide..and it's time to go back now...I have the same feeling I had before coming here. I came to a place that was too strange for me now I go back to the things I was trying to get away from. But still, some memories did fade and I am more strong than I was before so hopefully the streets won't seem so dull and gray now as they did when I left. Even though it was summer.

Here I learned that it's better to speak your mind, when you want too.

But I also learned that some things are better kept for yourself.

I learned that I can go on each day without him.

I learned that life has its ups and downs and you just need to take them as they come. And get over it.

I learned that my parents were quite wrong in one way: people do help you when you're in trouble. It depends which kind of trouble though...

I learned that no matter how much you try, you can't change someone's decision. If he doesn't want to change it.

I learned a lot since I am here. About myself. And about others too.

I don't recognize myself anymore, but I like the new me. More confident, more strong and more "just-ignore-it-type" sometimes. And that is good.

I keep blabberring nonsense...I don't even believe what I say...well maybe I do, but I am strong, confident, "just-let-it-be" type in all matters...except him...reason doesn't apply when it comes to him...I should have met him either 3 years ago or 3 years from now. How can you meet the right person in a wrong time? For both? He's trapped in a past he doesn't want to let go, I'm trapped in his present...then I'll turn out just like him...trapped in a past of him when maybe someone will be in my present... :-( either way...he'll always have a special place in my heart. Just because I say so.

I'm listening to cheesy songs now...just because I want too... :-( I don't know if they help or not, but they make me feel better. For a while...What 4 crazy months they have been...parties,photos, trips, laughter and tears...we shared them all. Together. Whoever said you are going abroad to study..........was seriously deranged...yes I study - this week more than I've ever studied in my life!!! But there's a part of this trip that no one predicted...And no, I'm not referring to falling in love...then out of love...I mean no one predicted how many friends I've made. Friends for life. We shared joy and sadness, laughter and tears, alchool and Italian cappuccio...we were all alone, but we were together. Simple as that.

I am going to miss this crazy city...who would have thought? This is the beginning of the end....I am not very good at goodbyes but I will just have to get over it and stop my tears and say bye to some really wonderful friends...and that is bad... And to him too...and that is worse......

Heartbroken blog...

2008-12-14T06:49:00.000+02:00

I am 10 days away until I leave my life in Italy behind. It will soon be just a memory in my thoughts...I can't believe I waited to come here, then I waited to go home, then I wanted to stay some more because of him...and now I don't know what I want...I just want to wake up one morning and smile again. Maybe that would be nice. Hasn't happened in a while so I just want to know how it feels again....

It's funny how life can go and how you can find joy and happiness in the small things that makes your day brighter...at least for a while...

Why can't we turn back time? 3 years is all I ask... I want to go back to then, if only I knew how...Remembering the very first time/I caught that someone special's eye/And all of my cares dropped/And all of the world just stopped... want to go back to then/Got to figure out how,/You don't know what you got 'til it's gone/And everything in life just goes wrong/Feels like nobody's listening/And something is missing...

Cheesy vs. Romantic...

2008-11-23T06:30:00.000+02:00

Starting with this month I am going to admit it's my fault for all those Euros left randomly at the fashion stores at the mall as a result of a depressive state of mind. I will admit the newly bought clothes gave me butterflies in my stomach as soon as I got home and sat on my sofa, dead-tired after the mall-marathon,but looking at my new Kurt Geiger shoes....

Just because,clothes are like men: if they don't give you butterflies in the stomach, they're useless. There,I've said it.

Still, it happened to all of us girls,to buy something, then feel it really doesn't belong in our wardrobe...that's when we remembered the good old white T-shirt,and the simple skinny jeans that make us look just perfect....Oh but that's just how women are, accessorizing til they're 'over-accessoriezed' (because we read somewherewe should do that), then we complain our ears hurt because of the much too heavy ear rings or that the handsfree is twisted with our necklaces...

Besides...we all said STC the movie was much too cheesy compared to the series and that in fact, we like it more with labels and less love and that the cheesy things don't work for us anymore...EVEN SO - you tell me if you didn't tremble when Carrie hit Mr. Big in his head with the wedding bouquet or who didn't find herself in the words "I curse the day you were born!" (Charlotte to Big) ....??????In the end, us women are just little Audreys dreaming of Tiffany's perls without realizing we also need a George Peppard on a white horse to save us...

You had me at 'hello' ...

2008-11-20T00:01:00.000+02:00

They say that if someone from your past isn't in your future, he pretty much has a reason for not being there..Ok this is the logic but I somehow manage to avoid logical, rational thinking when it comes to relationships. I have this "gift" it seems to not be able to let go. I thought I was more mature than that but my present has proved me wrong...

But do I really need to let go? Isn't there any hope left? Where did all the theory about hopes and dreams go? What - it just disappears when it comes to serious matter? All that talk about how never to lose hope, never give up dreaming is just dust in the wind now?

Only time will tell...Whatever the future holds I don't know, but I do know that one day he will wake up and realize how much I meant to him, but I will wake up next to the guy who already knew. And that is my biggest fear...

A famous adage goes as follows: "A friend is one who walks in when others walk out." All those who have had their hearts trampled upon will agree that the presence of a friend can ease the pain"...but what do you do when your a million miles away from any close friend you have? Who do you talk to when there's no one there next to you to listen...?

Once when I was young and true,
Someone left me sad -
Broke my brittle heart in two;
And that was very bad.
Love is for unlucky folk.
Love is but a curse.
Once there was a heart I broke;
And that, I think, is worse.

Nothing ends nicely they say...that's why it ends.

Men...They're either married or gay. And if they're not gay, they've just broken up with the most wonderful woman in the world, or they've just broken up with a bitch who looks exactly like me. They're in transition from a monogamous relationship and they need more space. Or they're tired of space, but they just can't commit. Or they want to commit, but they're afraid to get close. They want to get close, you don't want to get near them...why isn't there a movie called "what a man wants?" coz they sure figured out the women...I thought you were different. I was wrong. But I also know that guy is somewhere inside of you, but, I can't wait for him... because waiting for you is like waiting for rain in this drought. Useless and disappointing...

How long is the day in the dark? Or a week? The fire is gone. And I'm cold, horribly cold. I really want to drag myself outside but then there'd be the sun. I'm afraid I'll waste the light on the paintings, not writing these words. We die. We die, we die rich with lovers and triumphs, tastes we have swallowed, bodies we have...entered and swum up like rivers. Fears we have hidden in--like this wretched cave. I want all this marked on my body. Where the real country is. Not boundaries drawn on maps, names of powerful men. I know you'll come carry me out to the Palace of Winds. That's what I've wanted: to walk in such a place with you. With friends and an earth without maps. The lamp has gone out and I'm writing in the darkness...

Barcelona, July 2008

2008-11-10T05:38:00.000+02:00

Venezia, October 2008

2008-11-10T05:33:00.001+02:00

ROME, November 2008

2008-11-10T04:57:00.002+02:00

New years have passed, but I still remember why I chose to smile back at him that day. Now, 3 years after, I come back to Rome...not with him anymore.. I wandered round the streets trying to remember if I had been there with him before. Every step I took remembered me of another moment...This was my 17th time in Rome. But the first time when I was alone...

I've been crying and whining during the last few days just like a kid who you have stolen candy from. I know I must pack my past in a box and leave everything behind. It's all about attitude..I've got the courage and that small dose of insanity...I still have to be me, Just in a different place. With different people. Still, I am the same.

I'm quite contradictory when it comes to matters of reason....sometimes even I am surprised. Of myself. Of my childish behaviour, naive and totally serene. My soul is split between North and South. And I am on the Ecuatorial Line....The problem is, I took what's best from North and South...but when it comes to matters of the heart, I jump on one side or the other. And the problem is, there are consequences. Painful consequences...Difficult task we have here...Uncoding human feelings is not really a piece of cake you know...It's difficult even when you try to figure out what you yourself feel...But when you try to discover the heart of the one who sits beside you, the difficulty approaches a painful impossible... I tried to figure out what he feels using reason. I failed. Then I said that at times like this, the heart has the last word. But I failed again.

I woke up this morning thinking of mum...yeah I know - it's funny how you don't realise how much you care about someone until they are not there every morning when you wake up. All you get is a good night call and a good morning sms... Something like that, if you know what I mean...I miss her big morning hugs and I miss her saying it will be all right. I probably won't believe it if it was said by anyone else. But I believe her. Because she's my mommy...

It's funny how little it takes to realize what you really want: a one-way flight to nowhere, and it's all clear...I also found out how far you can go for your dreams ....We've got wings to fly....we just don't know that yet.

la vida sigue...Italia..bella vita ancora...

2008-09-30T14:14:00.001+03:00

The little girl couldn't sleep last night...she woke up this morning thinking whether to stay awake and think of him, or to go back to sleep hoping she'd dream about him again...But he's not there anymore..

Right so I am now in my first Erasmus semester in Italy...good life, good food, and some of the best parties I've ever been to..
EXCEPT one thing... nobody speaks English (EXCEPT Erasmus students and those Italians who have already been abroad studying)
So imagine a girl, all by herself in a foreign country, no friends, no family, just her and ...herself...I had never used my language knowledge much except for translation of course, but when in a foreign country, with people from 10 other nations, we all spoke English, as that was the language we all understood...
It's funny now..
I speak Italian and English at home here - my apartment mates are on Italian (who speaks absolutely NO English) and the other one is from UK....so I need to always remember who I am talking to - it's like I have this button that needs to turn on to English then Italian from time to time =)))
Then at uni we use English, most of the time...but some Frenchies also study here so when talking to them, my "language button" switches to French...
And then there are the ones from Argentina and Spain...needless to say, they "request" me to speak Spanish...
So, all of a sudden, all those study hours pay off now ;)
Needless to say I speak Romanian with my friends from Romania...
After all, if I don't learn anything else from my Erasmus time, I will surely be satisfied as I practised all the languages I know... :)))
My friends say I am the "walking Google translate tool" ...well...I tend to agree with them now LOL :)))

When you leave your home, you think the world will suddenly stop until you return again, be on "pause" or something then "play" again...but it doesn't....can I come home? Even surrounded by a million people I still fell all alone, so I just have to come home...recharge my batteries then start again....I've been writing all these letters, each one a line or two, and I'd send them to you but I know it's not enough....your heart is cold as ice... :-( =((

grade them, God! Romanian Policemen. Just BRIGHT! ;)

2008-08-28T20:53:00.000+03:00

WAKE UP!! WAKE UP!! WAKE UP!!

yup..that's kind of how a voice kept screaming in my head this morning... I was supposed to go to the Police Station to get my driving licence back...aaah oui...ca devait arriver a moi aussi.... :))) So finally, after 15 days of absolute, pure, excruciating agony I went to get MY PRECIOUS back.

When I arrived, they told me the 15 days haven't passed yet. True, today was the 15th...they also said that normally, you have to go after the 15 days....

Ok I admit it, I should have gone tomorrow BUT the police station is CLOSED tomorrow... SO the next choice is to go on Monday.... BUT I am not here on Monday (I'll talk about that later) and what's worse, I'll only return for Christmas...

The police officer was nice enough to tell me that (I WAS EXPECTING HIM TO SAY I CAN GET IT TODAY) if that's the case, I'll appreciate my Christmas present more, and won't drive like crazy with 130km/h...looks like sarcasm was on the menu for him today...

Oh well...seems my coming voyage in Italy won't be quite as I planned.....

------------------to be continued------------------

AT CHRISTMAS !!!

I signed my letter that I sealed with a kiss,
I sent it off, it just said this:
"I know exactly what I want this year"
Santa can you hear me?
I want mydriving licence, liceeeeence :)))) =))))))))))))))))

torn..

2008-08-28T13:02:00.000+03:00

It's funny how a few tired walls can hold so many memories... I'm gonna miss this place, I'm gonna miss some people

Chris, the lion

2008-08-27T11:37:00.001+03:00

In 1969, two friends, Ace Berg and John Rendall, purchased and adopted a lion. At the time, Christian was a 35only pound cub. He had been born in a zoo. The friends raised Christian in their London home. All three became great friends!

Within a year, Christian grew too big, Rendall and Berg realized they couldn't keep him much longer. The two decided to release Chritian back ino the wild. Christian was realeased into a conservation system Africa.

In 1974, Rendall and Berg decided to visit Christian one last time despite a friend telling them that it was too dangerous because Christian might not even remember them.

The two friends flew to Kenya, anyway. When they finally arrived at the reservation...just watch the video and see what happened ;)

perfume, ladies?

2008-08-24T21:45:00.000+03:00

"When in the dark, the woman's clothes and make-up disappear, there are two things left: her voice and her perfume" (Jean-Paul Guerlain)

Not a coincidence we choose the perfume depending on our mood: rose for gaining emotional equilibrium, hyacinth when we want to feel "cute", jasmine for energy, lavender for relaxation, iris for optimism and verbena for inspiration...

I just wonder if Mademoiselle Chanel would have agreed to borrow her name for this perfume (which appeared many years after she died....) She always protected her private image and as we all know, she never liked the attempts of other to immitate her style (not that they could have, anyway !!)

Since 1985 when it was launched (I wasn't even born....), after it's grand launch, it became an instant success...no wonder!

Jasmine, mimosa, orange flower, and the exotic Plumeria rubra, ambra, bitter chocolate and probably lots of other fruits I haven't been able to scent (YET!) :D

Anyways, I just love it ;) (You should too :P :P)

D&G? Versace? Bvlgari?? which one? MY ADVICE - WEAR THE STYLE NOT THE BRAND. Wear it with style ;)

2008-08-24T21:06:00.000+03:00

OH YES...okay so I admit it...I am officially addicted to D&G. Domenico (Dolce) and Stefano (Gabbana) probably understand what women actually want for clothes, more than any other designers. Even so, I am not "faithful" to them . I am Chloe's fan, I like Louis Vuitton, Bvlgari, I practically choose what I like from all of them, not only one brand. After all, why settle for one when you can have them all right?? :D
Looking at the D&G's spring summer 2008 collection, come on, don't tell me that you haven't noticed a mix between "grannies influences" and the flower-power...but who cares if they look good??? Whether they are masculine cuts or daring, strong and vibrant colors, D&G suggests and I advise you to try them on ;)

How do you style your wardrobe so you can look totally..uhm..."cool". Sure, ask Patricia Field if you can..(Carrie Bradshaw's stylist in Sex and the City...). How much do you spend on clothes and how many hours do you spend in the mirror so you can be a living fashion phenomenon? Just check the SOOOOO many scandal magazines so you can learn how to "don't do this at home" ;)

Wear it with style ;)

VENEZIA...per amore ;)

2008-08-23T21:53:00.000+03:00

So - if you're NOT the stubborn type of person who will NEVER EVER accept there is another city more romantic than Paris, then Venice is for you ;) Not to mention of you happen to be there when the Carnival starts... don't tell me you've NEVER thought of wearing one of those masks they all talk about...come on!

Hmm...let's see...where to start...100 metres above San Marco Square, up on Campanile Tower...how's that for a view of the world? ;)

By the way...once you're there, just ignore the busy streets and just walk through the city..it's a totally different world...I ended up on Murano island..it's FULL of fancy, cute boutiques which sell objects made of the famous Murano glass...so you bet I came back with tones of jewelry ;)

Oh yeah - you WILL want a picture with a million pigeons right? ;)) just try feeding them in San Marco square (just like other 1000000000 tourists ;))) )

AND in Castello Square, I guarantee you'll find the best cappuccino in the entire city ;))

And for my dear, dear fellow-clubbers - CASANOVA is the biggest disco club in Venice...The only club in Venice opened until 4 o'clock. During the day you have some audiovisual with the carnival story. Not to miss it ;)

VIENNA - 10 Must-DOs

2008-08-23T21:16:00.000+03:00

1. Drink a traditional Viennese cafe, at Cafe Demel - which is the supplier of the Royal House for more than 200 years - and is also recognised for the best apple strudel ("Apfelstrudel") in Austria (yes, I know what I'm talking about, and if you don't believe it, see for yourself ...TASTE for yourself!

2. Another Must-TASTE is the "Sacher" Tarte, which you can only find in one place - the hotel with the same name. The waiter told me it's being cooked using a 100 years old recipe... mmm.... tasty!

3. Looking for some adrenaline? Well you could just visit the Danube Tower (352m) where you'll find the highest artificial bungee jumping platform in Central Europe. And trust me...it's worth it!

4. Mark the Hofburg Palace on your list too...The old residence of Empress Sissi is absolutely breathtaking ;)

5. Ok..forget the white limo or the taxis ..they're too ordinary...Should you visit Vienna during the winter, I bet you'll just love the romantic ride in a horse carriage through the snow...How's that for a Christmas present...?

6. I was kind of shocked in Landtmann Cafe, he old writers' cafe, where I found actors rehearsing their parts! Nice ;)

7. Plan a Burgtheater night... kind of interesting ;)

8. Ok don't say I'm too much of a kid...but I enjoyed visiting Schonbrunn Zoo.. :D It's the only zoo that still keeps that old, baroque architecture...very nice

9. Feel for some Mozart? His house is now a museum and it's too definitely worth a visit.

10. San Stefano Dome is definitely worth a visit too. My suggestion - visit it early in the morning, so you can actually see something before the rest of the city comes to life and practically invading
the dome.

11. The Schonbrunn Palace....legendary - both for its architecture and its history (and of course, the surrounding gardens)

12. The Gian Ferris Wheel...kind of the London Eye... perfect ending of an evening in Vienna

Okay...12 Must-DOs..NOT 10.....but what can I say...it's difficult to choose among sooooo many cool stuff in Vienna...And wait..I'm not yet done...we have the shopping part (my favourit o'course !!! :D )

SHOPPIIIIIIIIING :D

Karntner Strasse
About 1 km long, you can check on your list shops like H&M, Bally, and then the lovely Hermes, Louis Vuitton, Escada, Gucci, Chanel which, as you MUST know by now, are THE shops for any fashionista ;) ENJOY! And...WHOEVER SAID MONEY CAN'T MAKE YOU HAPPY, SIMPLY DIDN'T KNOW WHERE TO GO SHOPPPING! :D

Okay folks...that's about it....I think...more to come after my next visits in this city! (planning one for New Year's Eve) ;)

Preguntas sin respuesta

2008-08-20T20:24:00.000+03:00

What would you do if the only one who can make you stop crying is the one who made you cry? How do you say goodbye to someone who was never yours? Why do you miss someone you were never with? Why do you show your love at someone, you're not commited to? Why feel lonely, yet everybody's with you? How long can you wait to hear the word "I Love You" when he is waiting too? How can you deny you are in love when it's already felt and visible to both of you?

So then... How long will you pretend? When its about to end?

I'm frustrated because I can’t tell if it’s real. Mad, because I don’t know how you feel. Upset, because we can’t make it right. Sad because I miss you day and night. Angry, because you just won’t take my hand. Aggravated, because you just don’t understand. I’m disappointed that we can’t be together but no matter what I’,m going to love you forever....I miss you. Today I walked and looked up and there you were-looking at me.

As much as I love seeing your face, all I wanted to do at that exact moment was cry.

Why do you look at me with those eyes when you look at "her" with those very eyes too?Sometimes you meet someone and before you know their name, before you know where they are from... you know that sometime in the future this person is going to mean something to you. It was the same with you too, and you know it...I love you; I'm not going to hide it. What do I have to lose anyway, it's not like I can lose something I never really had...

But....I'm gonna smile, cuz I wanna make you happy, laugh, so you won't see me cry, /I'm gonna let you go in style, and even if it kills me, I'm gonna smile.

People can be just best friends, but at one point or another ONE of them will fall for the other, maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late, or maybe, just maybe...forever.Everything I do fails...I wish on stars, wish on birthday candles, put you on my Christmas list, throw coins in fountains and make wishes, wish on 11:11. Not to mention, love you, dream about you and think about you every moment I can. Yet, nothing works. And as much as I want to lose hope in all these things, I can’t because if I stop believing then they really won’t ever come true.

So what if I always think about you! Or if I sit around and wait for you to call! It’s my life isn't it?

And who cares that I spend almost half of every day thinking about you,
and the other half dreaming about you, it’s my Life. And who cares if I pick out my clothes or how I wear my hair and what color lipstick over what I think you would like......It's my life right?

Well I guess if everything I do revolves around you...maybe it isn't my life anymore. :( miss you...

ya he finido....

2008-08-16T00:28:00.000+03:00

No estoy llorando por lo que has dicho, lo que duele es lo que no me has dicho nunca

La vida es demasiado corta. Rencores son una pérdida de la felicidad perfecta ... tengo que reír quando se puede, pedir disculpas cuando debo, y dejar ir de lo que no puedo cambiar. Tengo que amar profundamente y perdonar rápidamente. Tomar todas las posibilidades. Dar todo y no lamentarme. La vida es demasiado breve para ser infeliz. Tengo que tener buena con la mala, sonreir cuando estoy triste. Tengo que amar lo que tengo y siempre recordar lo que he tenido Siempre perdonar, pero nunca olvidar.

Nada dura para siempre, pero tengo que reír aunque si fuera poco, y nunca lamentarme. Porque en un momento dado, todo lo que hizo fue exactamente lo que yo quería.

Encontrare tantos secretos y un montón de mentiras, pero lo que debo aprender es mantenerme firme cuando nada es justo y todo está mal ...

Un día tu te vas a despertar y te daras cuenta de cuánto te preocupas por mí. Y cuando llegue ese día, yo voy a despertarme al lado de ese chico que ya sabia esas cosas....

La vida es un viaje que no es para llegar al final en un bien conservado cuerpo, sino más bien en patín de lado, totalmente desgastado, gritando: "HOLY SHIT, WHAT A RIDE !"... Ya he terminado de esperar para ti

I'm done waiting for you...

2008-08-16T00:23:00.000+03:00

I'm not crying over what you said; it's what you didn't say that hurts the most....

Life is too short. Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness...laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change. Love deeply and forgive quickly. Take chances. Give everything and have no regrets. Life is too short to be unhappy. You have to take good with the bad, smile when you're sad. Love what you got and always remember what you had. Always forgive, but never forget.

Nothing lasts forever, so live it up, drink it down, laugh it off, avoid the bullsh*t, take chances and never have regrets. Because at one point, everything you did was exactly what you wanted.

If you looked inside a girl's heart...you would see how much she really cries, you would find so many secrets and lots of lies but what you'll see the most is how hard it is to stay strong when nothing is right and everything is wrong...

One day you're going to wake up and realize how much you care about me. And when that day comes, i'll be waking up with the guy that already knew.

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting: "HOLY SHIT, WHAT A RIDE!"... I'm done waiting for you...

Road trips down to Memory Lane... :(

2008-08-11T21:08:00.000+03:00

Sigue tu destino, adónde sea que te lleve...
Hay un momento en la vida en que comprendes que ha llegado el tiempo de cambiar, y si no lo haces, nada jamás podrá cambiar… Comprendes que si al fracasar, no tienes el coraje de comenzar de nuevo, la vida seguirá sin ti…
Se que NO siempre los días brindan lo que espero…y mi vida parece que se torna diferente de lo que me ha imaginado yo...y todo lo que viene, tiene que ver con el pasado. A veces me parece que el futuro ya no puede ser como quiero, porque ahora el pasado sigue viviendo en mi presente…
Mi consejo es que tenemos que olvidar de lo que fue, porque eso ya paso y solo el presente importa. El pasado es ya una ilusión y el futuro todavía no existe. Pero vivimos hoy y tenemos que hacer lo mejor de nuestro presente.
Mide tus pasos uno a uno, sin perder la fe, guardando tu valor y confianza. Con tu frente alta, no temas soñar, ni mirar las estrellas…
Un amigo me ha dicho una vez que los sueños de la gente se pierdan en las estrellas…no creo que es así…yo pienso que los deseos se quedan allá hasta que los sueños pueden ser realidad…No me digas que no es así, porque esa es mi esperanza... :(

I miss you

changes...and it hurts with every heartbeat....

2008-08-07T12:41:00.000+03:00

Se spune că fericirea e un lucru pe care nu-l poţi atinge niciodată, dar în căutarea căruia merită să alergi toată viaţa....Problema cu fericirea e că nu ştii niciodată când o ai, poţi doar să ţi-o aminteşti...aici au şi deziluziile rostul lor - să te trezească din vis şi nu într-un mod plăcut, ci într-un mod de-a dreptul sadic: ceva de genul "kick in the ass.." sau şi mai bine: "slap in the face". Ok, acu să nu vă legaţi de mine pentru abordarea puţin mai francă de azi...ştiu că azi lipseşte din post-ul meu doza aia de smiorcăială...sorry guys - it's not on the menu today....

Mi mancherai se te ne vai, mi manchera la tua serenita, le tue parole come canzoni al vento...E l'amore che ora porti via... :-( Mi mancherai se te ne vai, ora per sempre non so come vivere...E l'allegria, amico mio.....va via con te....I'm just too far from where you are...

mda....se pare că due to the lack of funding, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off...trist...

Have you ever stayed up waiting for a telephone call...just to hear him say 'hello...' ... :(

2008-07-18T21:42:00.001+03:00

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest, opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, so that nothing can hurt you, then one person, no different from any other person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore, isn't the same. Love takes hostages. Then it leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's the "rip-you-apart" pain. I hate love.

:-(

I've been making a list of the things they don't teach you at school.

They don't teach you how to love somebody.

They don't teach you how to go to sleep each night when all you think of is him.

They don't teach you how to be famous.

They don't teach you how to be rich or how to be poor.

They don't teach you how to walk away from someone you do or don't love any longer.

They don't teach you how to know what's going on in someone else's mind.

They don't teach you what to say to someone who's dying.

They don't teach you anything worth knowing...because there are things you need to learn by yourself. We fall so we can learn to pick ourselves up...

Maybe one could fall in love instantly, but I doubt it. I think love creeps over you like a warm feeling on a clear blue fall day. This person is in your thoughts most of the time.....all of the time, actually...... You see him when you close your eyes, and he's the first thing on your mind when you wake up in the morning....

You remember how his fingers felt when they touched you, his eyes, lips, everything....and everything you see reminds you of him..now how is that possible? You see a cab - and you think of your first cab ride together...you see the sea - you remember when you were together by the sea shore...you hear a song - and a lyric reminds you of him...and the story can go on, an on, forever..... The loved one becomes a part of you, the most important part. At least it is that way with me when I think of him....

I heard something really wise today. In a movie (CSI: NY) - the main character, Mac, tells one of his colleagues, for helping her forget one kiss that happened like ages ago: "No matter how good they are, some memories need to be forgotten". He was right. We should let go and never dream of who we can never have....

For those who love... time is eternity..." Henry Van Dyke

____________________________________________________________________

ce coincidenţă stranie. Îmi vine să râd.....e 18 iulie azi....1 an.

funny wisecrack..... :P

2008-05-26T19:02:00.000+03:00

To alcohol, the cause of, and soloution to all of life's problems.

Women have their faults, men have only two:

Everything they say, everything they do!

A TOAST.....FOR THE MEN WHO HAVE US, THE LOSERS WHO HAD US, AND THE LUCKY BASTARDS WHO WILL MEET US! ;)

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

I don't believe in afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear....

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown!

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.... :)))

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Alcohol doesn't solve anything, but then again, neither does milk

When your dreams turn to dust... vacuum.

What goes around usually gets dizzy and falls over.

When life hands you a lemon, demand a Corona to go with it

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol.

Few women admit their ages... few men act theirs

Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes... there’s too much fraternizing with the enemy.

Twenty four hours in a day, twenty four beers in a case... coincidence? I think not.

I’ll listen to logic and reason when it comes out on CD.

If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you!

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Life's tough. Get a helmet!

Politicians and diapers both need to be changed. And for the same reason.

my favourite quotes....just a piece of wisdom and sagacity...

2008-05-26T18:41:00.000+03:00

If you love somebody, then tell them that you do. Because if you don't, it might break your heart. Or it might break theirs.... :-(

When I do something great, no one ever seems to remember, but when I do something wrong, no one can ever seem to forget.

There are people who have money and people who are rich.

Whoever said it's not whether you win or lose that counts, probably lost.

(Martina Navratilova)

If you have it (love), you don't need to have anything else, and if you don't have it, it doesn't matter what else you have.

(Sir James M. Barrie)

For all sad words of tongue and pens, the saddest words are these: IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN...

(John Greenleaf Whittier)

Never mud wrestle with a pig, because you'll both get dirty and the pig likes it.

I learned to laugh, I learned to cry, but will I ever learn to say goodbye?

Saying goodbye isn’t the hard part, it’s what we leave behind that’s tough.

Sometimes you won’t let go of love. More times love won’t let go of you.

Love can tear you apart... it can kill you. But if you’re lucky, it can put you back together .

I always knew I’d look back at the tears and laugh, but I never thought that I’d look back at the laughs and cry.

Giving up doesn't always mean you are weak; sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go.

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we're here we should dance.

do you believe in love after love...?

2008-05-19T21:37:00.000+03:00

So I don' t look back, Still I'm dying with every step I take, But I don't look back....

Still, I keep writing even though it does never help...I think...
It's the same with love you know...? You get hurt, still you're stubborn and fall in love again. Why do we love? over and over again....? We should know by now that there's no happy ending....Still...we love
I love.....now....again....
who cares? He'll never know......

Life is funny sometimes....damn my destiny sure has a dark sense of humour.
No name. Just fate....

Well...this day was a total waste of make-up: I started out with NOTHNG, and I STILL HAVE MOST OF IT LEFT...yes I know - sarcasm is just one more service I offer today ;) Too many freaks, not enough circuses....

What Is This Thing Called Love?

2008-04-29T00:47:00.000+03:00

What Is This Thing Called Love?

What creates romance is the ability to see yourself lovable.

As a result of some recent events in my personal life,(recent..I mean…about a year ago……) I have started asking myself what love really is, does it really exist or is it just some lie we like to fool ourselves with…?

Love can be magic. But as I said, magic can sometimes be just an ilusion.

People say that love is selfless, meaning you have to give all of yourself and never expecting anything in return. That, I might say, is pure uthopia. It’s human nature to expect rewards for anything they do well.

Yeah it is said that you must love yourself before you can love anyone else or allow them to love you.(To be loved…be lovable….FEEL lovable)…Maybe I agree with that statement…but maybe it’s the other way around – when someone loves you and you love him back, then and only then you feel lovable and you really start loving yourself. I have never heard of anyone feeling lovable before being loved…You just can’t! And right now, I might add, I just DON’T feel the most LOVABLE person in the entire world!! You know,…….. it doesn’t matter if 1000 people tell you they are in love with you if the person YOU love doesn’t love you back. Then it happens just the opposite – your love for yourself diminishes, you start finding mistakes in your own behaviour, way of thinking/dressing/talking – everything suddenly seems wrong. And it falls right back into place when (and if) that one person loves you too.

In my opinion, love means giving someone your everything and hoping they will love you back forever and ever. And laws of logic don’t apply to love…I’ll listen to logic and reason when it comes out on CD….:) :)

Love is and never was and probably will never be what the ancient poets defined. It is said that in a relationship each partner gives 60%...I just love this…

Here’s and advice – for free – to give to anyone you know, friends and enemies: Don’t wait forever to tell someone you love them, as they won’t wait forever ;) and if you don’t tell them you might lose the most wonderful love story :…… Why are we afraid of? Losing something??? YOU CAN’T LOSE WHAT YOU NEVER HAD…...

RIGHT…I GUESS I’VE SAID ENOUGH….HOPE YOU DIDN’T GET BORED READING…

There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved. (Georges Sand)

You know you are in love when you see the world in her eyes, and her eyes everywhere in the world. (David Levesque)… And for us, girls – „You know you are in love when you see the world in his eyes, and his eyes everywhere in the world” :

To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.(Bill Wilson)

If you have it (love), you don't need to have anything else, and if you don't have it,

it doesn't matter what else you have. (Sir James M. Barrie)

For all sad words of tongue and pens, the saddest words are these: IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN... (John Greenleaf Whittier)

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.(H.L. Menken)

Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes... there’s too much fraternizing with the enemy.(Henry Kissinger)

Break up letter ;)

2008-01-23T11:31:00.000+02:00

Dear J,

I left you a roast in the oven...please set the temperature to bake at 350 for two hours. Potato salad is in the fridge. The plants in the living room are watered every Monday and Thursday morning. The cat is due for her immunizations on the 12th, and the dog is scheduled to be groomed at CuteClips on the 8th at 2:40 p.m. The garbage bill is due on the 15th, the electric on the 20th, and the mortgage on the 23rd.

Your mother has a dental appointment to get her dentures cleaned at 1:30 Friday afternoon. On your way to pick her up stop by the dry cleaners and get your clothes. Ticket number 334. Leave early as you may have to help your mother get dressed for her appointment.The car needs to be picked up from the repair shop by 5 p.m. today or they will charge you for overnight parking.

To get the washer to work you have to kick it halfway through the wash cycle. The dryer needs to have the lint tray cleaned after every use or it will not dry your jeans thoroughly.Speaking of which, I left your dirty socks and boxers on the bedroom floor where you left them, so that you will be able to easily find them tomorrow morning. Also, the toilet seat is left up for your convenience, too. You will find a sewing kit in the kitchen pantry to mend that tear in your shirt.

Windex is under the kitchen sink and the Comet is in the bathroom. We keep the vacuum cleaner in the hall closet. A list of groceries is on the fridge door, and the coupons will be found in the drawer next to the stove.

The cat eats at 6:30 a.m. and the dog at 9 a.m.. Please make sure they both have fresh water.Y

Your brother's wedding is this Saturday at the Lifted Hearts Church. Be sure to pick up a gift first and don't forget you're to be fitted for your tux tomorrow morning. Your aunt and uncle are arriving in on the 2 p.m. flight tomorrow, and are expecting to be picked up at the airport. Also, you will find clean sheets for the guest room in the linen closet. They prefer breakfast at 8 a.m. sharp!

Oh, by the way, if you haven't figured it out by now - I'm outta here!

Love.... ME ;)

Fericire...

2007-12-30T20:08:00.000+02:00

O condiţie esenţială de a accede la fericire este inconstienţa – inconstienţa ce se traduce prin ignoranţa omului asupra propriei condiţii. În momentul in care omul atinge starea sublima de fericire, dacă aceasta există, ea trebuie comunicată. Aşa cum avem lacrimi pentru suferinţă, ar trebui să ştim să ne exteriorizam şi fericirea. Nefericirea provine din noi inşine şi a realiza aceast lucru îinseamna primul pas spre a o combate. La fericire mai contribuie şi frumuseţea, care ne apropie de beatitudine.

"Fericiţi sunt aceia care pot trăi în moment, care pot trăi prezentulabsolut, pe care nu-i interesează decât beatitudinea clipei…"

Omul este nefericit sau ipocrit:
”Dacă sunt oameni fericiţi pe acest pamânt, pentru ce nu urlă, pentru ce nu apar în stradă să-şi strige bucuria în ţipete nebune şi neîncetate?... Dacă exista fericire în lume, ea trebuie comunicata.”

Fericirea, ca şi nefericirea, provine din interiorul fiinţei umane, totul depinzând de oglindirea în conştiinţa individuală a acţiunilor, de amplificările interne şi de acurateţea sensibilităţii: a fi conştient de asta duce la luciditatea necesară perceperii corecte a realităţii.

Luciditatea nu duce neaparat la fericire, ci la un grad mai mic de nefericire; luciditatea corecteaza exagerările sau anticipările sensibilităţii. Pentru a ajunge la un grad mai mic de nefericire este necesar un efort interior persistent; Prin conştienţă, în fericire simţi că lumea trebuie să fie asa cum este; în nefericire, lumea trebuie sa fie oricum, dar nu aşa cum este: "Niciodată nefericirea nu va putea ajunge la generozitatea în caresa-şi recunoască în mod absolut întunericul propriu, pentru a vedea eventualele lumini ale lumii. ”
Autocontrolul nefericirii provoacă mai puţine nelinişti, o suferinţă mai stăpânita, o "mascare aristocratica" a consumarii interioare. Compătimirea este un semn de superficialitate datorat unui sentiment care nu angajeaza; mila si consolarea sunt ineficace.

Aristotel a făcut din fericire conţinutul binelui moral, Platon credea că fericirea e numai plăcerea purificată prin inteligenţă……

Benedict de Spinoza spunea prin “amor intellectualis Dei” : această iubire produce fericirea; ea e o parte din iubirea pe care o are Dumnezeu pentru om şi rezultă din cunoştinţa lui Dumnezeu. Cunoştinţa aceasta dă omului virtutea şi fericirea. De aceea, după teoria lui Spinoza, fericirea poate fi atinsă dacă omul este condus de idei clare, fără afecte şi pasiuni. Izvorul fericirii este în om, în raţiune.

Faust a cautat fericirea in gandire, dar nu a gasit decat dorul nespus de fericire.

Hutscheson leaga notiunea de fericire de sentimentele morale, dar sustine ca morala e victoria iubirii pure, neinteresate asupra celorlalte dorinte si sentimente.

Kant a exclus total fericirea din viata morala, fericirea fiind o notiune formala, valabila pentru domeniul transcendentului.

Fericirea adevarată nu e izvorâtă dintr-un singur fenomen psihic, ci din echilibrul sufletesc perfect, din abordarea tuturor celor 3 fenomene fundamentale psihice: afectivitate, intelect, voluntarism. Aceste 3 fenomene reprezintă direcţia subiectivistă, care deduce fericirea numai din sufletul omenesc. Directia obiectivistă considera ca origine a fericirii, lumea exterioara, mediul inconjurator, sufletul uman fiind pur receptiv.

De-a lungul timpului, incepand de la filosofia socratica si pana azi, s-a definit fericirea in mod pozitiv si negativ.
- Definitiile pozitive au fost ale optimistilor ce au considerat fericirea ca un fenomen realizabil cautand sa arate caracterele ei precum si mijloacele prin care s-ar putea infaptui
- Definitiile negative au fost ale pesimistilor care au facut din fericire numai suspendarea durerii, tagaduindu-i existenta reala , pozitiva . Filosoful A.Ferdusi spunea ca “Lumea nu e decat un vis trecator si nici fericirea , nici nenorocirea nu dureaza” ; iar Voltaire considera fericirea numai ca o idee abstracta, care se bazeaza pe unele senzatii de placere.

Iubirea – S-a incercat a se intemeia fericirea pe baza iubirii . Filosoful Maeterlinck a afirmat “Omenirea e facuta sa fie fericita si putem ajunge la fericire prin iubire” . Aceasta iubire poate sa fie umana , iubirea de oameni de gradul cel mai mare, asa cum a predicat-o Isus – si divina , iubirea si increderea in Dumnezeu unita cu credinta religioasa. Iubirea implica sacrificiul de sine, caci daca omul nu poate fi fericit pentru el insusi si numai pentru el, poate fi fericit prin altii. Idealul moral al crestinismului este confundarea individului cu umanitatea, prin uitare, prin iubire. Acest ideal este izvorat din trebuinta de fericire in infinit a omului. Acelasi ideal si conceptie asupra fericirii o gasim si la Lev Tolstoi, care afirma iubirea infinita de aproapele, fie el chiar vrajmas. Filosofia lui Tolstoi se bazeaza pe ideea de Dumnezeu, ce se manifesta in viata sub aspectul ratiunii si al iubirii. Tolstoi afirma in lucrarea sa <> ca “iubirea e singura activitate rationala a omului ; ea este starea cea mai rationala si mai luminoasa a sufletului… Ea e binele real, binele suprem, care rezolva contradictiile vietii ” . Deci, baza fericirii e iubirea larga, infinita si divina. Sensul vietii este ca sporim in noi acesata iubire, a carei crestere este sa sporim in noi acesata iubire, a carei crestere aduce marirea fericirii. Prin acest sentiment se vor remedia si relele sociale. Iubirea va inlatura concurenta nebuna dintre oameni. Prin iubire si libertate se va stabili fericirea pe pamant.

si totusi...poate ca iubirea nu exista... (Imi cer scuze fata de cei care nu sunt de acord cu mine in ceea ce proveste aceasta remarca, insa ...daca tot nu sunteti de acord....PROVE ME WRONG! )

Placerea – este cel mai raspandit criteriu, caci cei mai multi filosofi au identificat fericirea cu placerea, confundand fericirea cu un singur element al ei. Optimismul care deduce fericirea din placere e cunoscut sub numele de eudemonism. Aceasta conceptie face din placere scopul vietii, imboldul oricarei activitati, considerand placerea drept cel mai mare bun, drept fericire desavarsita, catre care trebuie sa tindem. Inteligenta umana e un bun , dar ea nu da fericirea, ci arata numai calea pe care se poate ajunge la fericire, in unire cu alte fenomene psihico-sociale.
In antichitate, ideea ca fericirea e placere, a fost sustinuta de cirenaici si epicurei. Dintre adeptii acestei idei, cei mai multi (ex: Aristip, Bentham) considerau placerile sensibile ca fiind cele mai intense, ca producatoare de fericire. Placerile pot fi sensibile si intelectuale; primele fiind placeri inferioare si trecatoare , iar celelalte superioare si fecunde, caci se inlantuiesc. Epicur a considerat placerea drept criteriul fericirii si impulsiunea oricarei actiuni, deoarece mai toate fiintele fug de durere, cautand multumirea , bucuria, placerea. El recomanda renuntarea la placerile vulgare, considerand ca ideal de fericire placerea calma, linistea absoluta, ceea ce numeste el ataraxia.
Dintre toate dorintele sensibile care pot influenta vointa, fericirea este cea mai intensa, de aceea in ultima instanta toate actiunile izvorasc si tind catre fericire .
Bentham a intemeiat o asa zisa aritmetica a placerilor. Placerile, pentru a putea duce la fericire, trebuie sa aiba urmatoarele insusiri : sa fie intense, durabile, sigure, inedite, pure si fecunde.

Intelepciunea - Fericirea dobandita pe calea intelepciunii ar fi o liniste sufleteasca, o egalitate de suflet in toate imprejurarile schimbatoare ale vietii. Intelepciunea consta intr-o puternica constiinta de sine , prin care omul isi alcatuieste o viata interioara constanta. Intelepciunea consta in crearea unei lumi interne prin ratiune si vointa. Doctrina intelepciunii afirma ca sufletul este un izvor constant si absolut de fericire . Astfel ca ideile, credintele noastre, sentimentele si dorintele rationale, toate acestea produc fericirea.

Perfectiunea – este cel mai nedeterminant criteriu deoarece perfectiunea este rezultatul evolutiei. Astfel fericirea s-ar dobandi treptat cu evolutia . Aristotel a sustinut , in antichitate, existenta procesului de perfectiune, ultima treapta de perfectiune fiind Dumnezeu. Spinoza intelege perfectiunea in sensul intelectual al conceptiei sale : fericirea deriva din perfectiunea inteligentei. A perfectiona insa inteligenta inseamna a ajunge la un asa mare grad de dezvoltare inat prin ea, sa dobandim cunostinta lui Dumnezeu . Leibniz a identificat si el fericirea cu virtutea si cu perfectiunea , perfectiunea fiind ascensiunea catre divinitate. Perfectiunea divina ne duce cu gandul la atributele lui Dumnezeu : atotstiitor, bunatate absoluta , iubire. Poate aspira omul sa dobandeasca acest grad de perfectiune ???

“Fericirea este o stare de spirit pe care o poti cultiva” - Descartes.
“Bucuria si durerea, fericirea si datoria , totul e in dependenta de marele ideal moral – umanitatea”

Kant considera fericirea ca fiind un ideal. Dar prin aceasta nu înţelegea că era de neatins, ci, mai degrabă că noi nu suntem în măsură să judecăm ce ar trebui să facă oricare om ca să fie fericit. Reţeta fericirii este alta la fiecare. Sunt persoane fericite de averea pe care au acumulat-o în timp; altele consideră că a fi fericit înseamnă a avea prieteni, a fi sănătos, a fi apreciat şi stimat; altele sunt fericite ştiindu-se iubite de cineva sau numai ştiind că persoana iubită există acolo undeva şi respiră acelaşi aer. Există oameni care îşi „creează” un paradis numai al lor în care să se simtă fericiţi. Dar ce s-ar întâmpla dacă acest paradis ar exista undeva pe Pământ?
La începuturile lumii a existat. Şi ce s-a întâmplat?! L-am pierdut. De ce? Pentru că omul nu este făcut să locuiască în paradis. Cum pune piciorul acolo distruge. Omul nu poate decât să tindă către absolut, către perfecţiune, purtându-şi povara de a şti că, în această viaţă, nu va ajunge niciodată acolo.
Honoré de Balzac spunea că „Fericirea are nenorocirea să pară ceva absolut. Şi eu cred că fericirea se poate atinge cu mâna.” Pentru că există concepţii despre fericire care o consideră o stare sufletească de bucurie nemărginită, de exaltare, de împăcare, de beatitudine. Şi atunci putem considera că ea se află la picioarele noastre. Să ne gândim că şi după o mare durere, vine o mare bucurie. Există un permanent echilibru între cele două. Unii spun că nenorocirile sunt mari şi gratuite, numai fericirile sunt scurte şi costisitoare.
A fi fericit înseamnă după unii, a iubi. Şi într-adevăr, a iubi este prima dintre toate fericirile, a fi iubit vine abia după aceea. Putem asocia iubirea cu fericirea? Da. Atâta timp cât cel care iubeşte nu confundă dragostea cu delirul devastator al posesiei, care, în ultimă instanţă aduce suferinţele cele mai cumplite. Căci, împotriva opiniei comune atâtor oameni, nu dragostea te face să suferi, ci instinctul de proprietate care este contrarul dragostei. Eminescu spunea, referindu-se la fericire, că „un om poate avea totul, neavând nimic, şi nimic, având totul”.

Există persoane care spun că fericirea este o floare rară. Şi aşa este. Dar nu pentru că ea ar fi unică în lume, ci pentru că depinde de fiecare din noi cum ştie să ajungă la ea.
Concepţii despre fericire ne spun că a obţine ceea ce ne dorim înseamnă să fim fericiţi. Şi să presupunem că cineva reuşeşte să obţină ceva pentru care a luptat multa vreme. Şi acum este fericit? Se prea poate. Dar se poate şi să nu fie. Şi atunci unde e fericirea? Ea a constat în strădania de a obţine. Chiar dacă uneori fericirea dispare repede, ea este dată de sentimentul succesului.
Concepţiile despre fericire se deosebesc prin rostul pe care îl atribuim celorlalţi în dobândirea propriei fericiri. Într-una din piesele sale de teatru, Jean Paul Sartre folosea o expresie şocantă: „infernul sunt ceilalţi”. Desigur, fiecare din noi poate fi la rându-i „celălalt”, iar responsabili pentru fericirea noastră suntem doar noi înşine.

Cum putem să găsim fericirea într-o lume în care realizarea propriilor dorinţe depinde de ceea ce doresc şi fac semenii noştri? De multe ori, dorinţele a doi oameni intră în conflict şi ca urmare, fiecare încearcă să împiedice realizarea dorinţei celuilalt. Nimeni nu renunţă, fără să lupte, la fericire. Concluzia filozofiei a fost că nu există fericire solidară.Dar nu trebuie ignorat faptul că ai nevoie de ceilalţi pentru a fi fericit. Un om desprins de societate se poate pierde pe sine. Şi până la urmă, unde putem găsi fericirea? Noi presupunem că această căutare are sens şi nu este în van. Sigmund Freud proclamă intangibilitatea fericirii: întreaga noastră viaţă, argumentează el, stă sub semnul principiului plăcerii. Satisfacerea nevoilor noastre nu ne procură decât plăcere de scurtă durată; de aceea, fericirea „ca stare permanentă ori ca ideal atins” nu este posibilă.Dar Epictet vine să contrazică acest lucru. El spune că omul fericit este acela care trăieşte în armonie cu lucrurile sau îşi acceptă în întregime destinul.

Nu putem afirma ceva cu certitudine despre fericire, ci doar că ea este ceea ce percepe şi ce simte fiecare. Ea este una din marile întrebări ale umanităţii şi va mai rămâne încă unul din misterele existenţei noastre:

”Sunt clipe când îmi pare că tot ce-a trebuit
Să aflu despre lume, de mult am desluşit.
Dar stelele mă mustră tăcut din patru zări:
N-ai dezlegat nici una din marile întrebări.”

We have time...or not? Crushed... :|

2007-12-29T16:50:00.000+02:00

We have time

We have time for everything.
To sleep, to run here and there,
to regret we were wrong and to make those mistakes again,
to judge others and ignore our own mistakes,
we have the time to read and write,
to correct what we wrote, to regret what we wrote,
we have the time to make projects we don't respect,
we have time to make illusions and go through their ashes later.
We have time for ambitions and illnesses,
to blame destiny and details,
we have the time to watch clouds, commercials or an accident,
we have the time to chase away the questions,
to delay the answers,
we have the time to break a dream and create it all over again,
we have the time to make friends and then lose them,
we have the time to receive lessons, which we forget afterwards,
we have the time to receive gifts, which we might don't understand.
We have time for everything.
But we don't have time to care and be loved.
When we finally do that, we die.
I've learned certain things in life which I will tell you about.
I have learned that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is be lovable.
The rest…is up to them.
I have learned that no matter how much I care,
Some people might just not.
I have learned that it takes years to gain somebody's trust
And in a few seconds you can lose it.
I have learned that it doesn't matter WHAT you have in life,
but WHO you have.
I have learned that you can handle things in life by charm about 15 minutes,
after that, you'd better know something.
I have learned that you mustn't compare yourself with what others can do,
but with what you can do.
I have learned that it doesn't matter what happens to others,
But what I can do to help them.
I have learned that no matter how you cut something,
Everything has two sides.
I have learned that you have to leave the loved ones with kind words.
It might be the last time you see them.
I have learned that you can go on long time
after you said you can't.
I have learned that heroes are those who do what they need, when they need to,
regardless of the consequences.
I have learned that there are people who love you,
but they don't know how to show it.
I have learned that I've got the right to be upset,
but I haven't got the right to be mean.
I have learned that true friendship continues to exist regardless of long distances.
And this works for true love also.
I have learned that if someone doesn't love you how you would want him/her to,
it doesn't mean they don't love you with all their heart.
I have learned that no matter how close a friend is,
he will hurt you sometimes.
And you have to forgive him for that.
I have learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others.
Sometimes you have to forgive yourself.
I have learned that no matter how much you suffer,
the world won't stop for your pain.
I have learned that the past and circumstances might influence your personality,
but you are responsible for what you become.
I have learned that if two people argue, it doesn't mean that they don't love each other.
I have learned that sometimes you have to think about the person,
not her deeds/actions.
I have learned that two people can look at the same thing and still see two different facts.
I have learned that no matter the consequences,
those who are honest with themselves achieve more in life.
I have learned that your life can be changed in a few hours
by people who don't even know you.
I have learned that when you think you have nothing more to give,
when a friends needs your help, you will find the strength to help.
I have learned that writing,
as speaking,
can calm down a soul's pain.
I have learned that people who you care most about,
are taken away too soon…..
I have learned that it's difficult to decide
when to stop being kind, in order not to hurt someone's feelings
and still speak your mind.
I have learned to love
so I can be loved.
I have learned.